| I need to expend some of this excess energy.
I want to run
or scream.
or cry.
or masturbate.
something's never make sense.
I'm one.
I am only happy at night.
alone.
after all these years,
I cant shake these weird loner tendencies.
I guess I will never be an inviting person.
I think I just need someone who can be a loner with me.
next to me.
I want to throw a
cocktail party for all those people I haven't seen in forever. I want
them to know I still think about them. I want us all to wear fabulous
black dresses. I want to make hors-d'oeuvres and send out
invitations. We can make drinks we don't know the names of.
this rant doesn't have a conclusion, but then again it didn't have a beginning either. I guess its all just one big middle.
|
| |
| to my sad lil' bunny,
Happy Birthday! |
| |
| it isn't hard to let go...
if there's nothing left to hold on to
I'd be an awful filipino because I cant line dance very well.
seriously, come watch me...
its a damn shame.
after all these years I still cant do the todo todo.
yesterday, I went to lauras party. she specified on the invitation that everyone should wear white. I danced with matt then (as he put it) "I left the island and swam to the mainland".
I really just swam to my own island.
</3 |
| |
| I was never good at making words or thoughts or sense,
or anything out of popsicle sticks...
I skipped school again today because I wasnt in the mood for people. I dont think I could have handled King Lear or moist buckets or Brittnei when she talks. I was in the mood for pajamas and vegan chocolate; for daytime tv and emo music that just reminds me how alone I am.
I wore that black t-shirt one last time.
I wanted to pick up the phone but I knew I wasnt capable of anything more than incoherent drivel and mind-numbing small talk. I wish I could translate all these things I want you to know into sentences and sense. I wish I could make promises I could keep.
I wish I could have just made this work.
</3 |
| |
| Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
</3 |
| |
